How To Show A Man You’re Interested Without OVERDOING It

Unlike women, most men don’t get a ton of women trying to get at them on a daily basis.  So when a man senses a woman is trying to come on to him, the initial reaction may not be the real reaction.  If you have interest in a man and you want to approach him without coming on too strong there are a few things you want to do.

The first thing you want to keep in mind is that he most likely will be excited that you are hitting on him.  He may not show it, but what happens is that we don’t totally process the fact that a woman is hitting on us.  What most men usually think of is having sex with you.  You could be wanting a relationship, maybe even thinking long term.  He sees S.E.X.  Now I am not saying that his mind won’t change, but if you come on too strong in the beginning, you are usually setting yourself up to be used and abused. 

So here are a few pointers.  If you really like a man and you want to get to know him then you must do your best to make him come to you.  Make yourself available but don’t give him too much of a hint that you are interested.  Have idle conversation with him and smile a lot.  Believe it or not, a woman’s smile is like a ray of sunshine to a man.  Eventually if he is into you and wants to get to know you better he will start to pay more attention to you.  It is then up to you to notice what type of attention he is giving you.  If he treats you the same way he treats everyone else then there is probably one of two things going on.  Either he is not really noticing you or he has no interest in you.  If he is not noticing you, then you want to subtly make yourself known to him.  Don’t go extremely out of your way for him, but do something for him that you would not normally do for just anyone else.  By now he should notice you.  Give him time to respond or come to you.  If he is interested, he will respond.  He may not necessarily ask you out to dinner, but he should start to pay more attention to you.  If he still doesn’t pay more attention to you, then you have to make a decision.  If he is someone you want to get to know and you feel that you just have to get to know his man better no matter what, then you have to pull out all the stops.  I don’t recommend this, but it’s up to you. 

Your next step after he does notice you would be to make yourself available.  You don’t need to change your plans and ways to fit in his schedule, but if he wants to take you to dinner or to lunch, then go if you can.  The last thing a man wants is to play mind games.  If he asks you to go to lunch and you are available to do so then let him know that you would like to accompany him.  Don’t tell him that you have to think about it, or you have to check your schedule and get back to him if you already know you are free to do so.  If he finds out that you are playing hard to get then he his interest may fade.  I am not saying that you need to just be ready to do any and everything he wants you to do, but you have to be tactful about it.  Be a lady and demand that he be a gentleman.  The conversation you have with him on a first date tells him where you stand. 

So what do you talk about?  It’s easier to tell you what not to talk about.  If you are interested in getting to know him and possibly move forward with him, the last thing you want to talk about on a first date is ANYTHING that has to do with sex.  I hate to give this away for the brothers but I have to let you ladies in on a little secret.  If a man (for the most part) thinks that you have opened to door to sex in any way, even if the door is just cracked, then he will go at it hard until he gets you.  This may be ok with you, but if you are really interested, do NOT make your relationship about sex.  I won’t go as far to say do or don’t have sex with him.  This is totally your choice, but if you do decide to do it, he will respect you more if your words and you actions match.  If you tell him that no he’s not getting any while you are together and you get back to his or your place and you do end up having sex with him then he will always figure that you never mean what you say.  If you do feel there is a chance sex will happen, doesn’t mean you have to talk about it.  Another no-no is to engage in sexual conversation because he will think that is all you want and most likely he will be ok with that.  There can be a time and a place for such talk and activity, but you first need to make sure he is interested in YOU and not just your anatomy.  If you are really interested in him get to know him and see if he wants to get to know you.  Be aware of where he takes the conversation.  If he is genuinely interested in knowing about you as a person then that is a good thing.  If you tell him you like Italian food over Chinese and you like Comedies over Sci-Fi and he takes you to PF Changs and afterwards to see Avatar, then he may have a hidden agenda. 

There are no 100% tell-tale signs that will give you all you need to know in what it takes that will work all the time to show a man that you are interested in him.  But you do have to be smart and patient.  You don’t want to send the wrong signals because in the end you will be the one hurt.  Take your time and just let things fall into place.

Hope this helps

Thanks for reading

DJR

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