Intimacy

Written By: D. James Rice on February 4, 2010 No Comment

Intimacy is not just sex. The type of Intimacy that I am speaking in reference to is the whole sexual experience between husband and wife. This can start with a simple look, email, text message, phone call or whatever. It most likely ends with falling asleep in the arms of your spouse.

Let me give you an example of what I am talking about. You are at work and something triggers your mind to have sexual thoughts for your spouse. These thoughts could have been triggered by a something a co-worker says or something you see. Where the idea came from doesn’t matter. What is really important is the next step you take. Do you act on it or do you ignore it. Sadly most people don’t act on it, or they act on it in the wrong way. This is a time when you should direct this feeling to your spouse and no one else.

Let’s say you decide to act on it. What do you do? The next step is quite simple. We live in a time where technology makes it very easy to contact someone. You can send your spouse an email, a text or make a phone call. You simply let him or her know that you can’t wait to spend time with them tonight. How simple is that? You just started what most likely will be a very intimate time between you and your spouse. Now both you and your spouse’s minds are racing wondering what the night will bring.

Now the difficult part is to not let the rest of the days events take you out of the mood. This is where that intimate night you are thinking about can dwindle away like a mist. So many things come up during the course of a day that create conflict in your mind and prevents you from carrying out your actions. Even your spouse can have this effect. DO NOT allow that to happen. One way to help avoid this from happening is to mentally plan out how you want the night to go. Put so effort into thinking this out. A good place to start with some ideas is an ebook called 500 Lovemaking Tips and Tricks. This ebook is filled with many different ways to surprise, satisfy, and please your spouse. The best thing is that you can get this ebook at a discount rate that the general public won’t get. See details below.

Now that you have an idea in your head of how you want the night to go, keep going over it in your mind. By constantly keeping this in the front of your mind, you will sub-consciously not allow yourself to be sidetracked in allowing the days events to ruin your night of intimacy.

The next obstacle is acting out how you figured in your mind the way you want the night to go. You’d be surprised on how many people make it this far and mess up. Your intimate night may be a candle light dinner and a movie. It may be you two going to a local dancehall or it may be a night of wild sex. This is totally up to you but it’s now time to make it happen. They key is that it’s fun and intimate for both of you.

Intimacy in a marriage opens the door to so many things in your marriage which we will go over in more detail over the next 6 weeks. Today we are going to go over a few things that cause the lack of intimacy in a marriage.

Pride

Pride is a lot more serious than most people realize. Pride stops so many things. It can stop one from giving their full self to their spouse. It can also stop one from accepting the little things that you spouse wants to give you to show their love. Pride can be a marriage killer. Don’t allow pride to creep into your marriage.

What is Pride? Pride is an undue sense of one’s own superiority, arrogance and conceit. Pride makes one feel they are better than someone else. A person that is full of pride will feel they should not have to go the extra mile for their spouse. They tend to be selfish and not too willing to give.

Pride has NO PLACE in a marriage. You and your spouse are equal partners. It doesn’t matter which one of you is older, bigger or which one makes the most money. In a marriage it’s 50/50. You should have been willing to put in 100% from the day you got married and that should not have changed. If you were not willing to give 100% when you said I do, it’s not too late to start putting it in.

Destroy the pride.

Society

You’re probably wondering what society has to do with intimacy issues. Well society has a lot of control of what many people think and do. If society says that it is not proper to discipline your children, then a lot of people let their children just run wild. If society says money makes the world go around, then everyone strives to keep up with the Jones.

Society doesn’t really promote marriage and monogamous relationships. Music and television leads us to believe that it is ok to have extra-marital relationships. Society says infidelity is no big deal. You can’t have a successful intimate relationship with your spouse if you are sharing that intimacy with someone else. Affairs and extra marital activity should NEVER be tolerated. Hopefully this doesn’t describe you. If it does, it’s time to Break Free From The Affair.

Fear

I don’t think there is a need for me to explain what fear is, but I will take a moment and say this, fear can ruin intimacy. Some people afraid of their spouse’s reaction to what their idea of an intimate moment is. This stops them from truly expressing themselves in ways they want their spouse to treat them.

I have just touched the surface on some of the intimacy issues people have. I didn’t want to bore you with long dialog. My goal is to get your mind flowing with ways to build intimacy in your marriage or relationship.

Thanks for reading

DJR